We do have lots of rules, though, to make play-time fun, safe, and fair for everyone. We help the children understand the rules and what to do if they are having trouble. We help the children when the problems are beyond what they can handle themselves. We work with the whole class and with individuals. We use stories and role playing to help the children understand empathy, fairness, cooperation, etc. So why is it, then, that year after year, we continue to address the same problems, sometimes problems that continue to pop back up throughout a school year? And sometimes the problems continue year after year throughout the grade levels.
During the July 2009 Constructing Modern Knowledge I was fortunate to be able to interact with educator Deborah Meier. She gave us some suggested resources ("Write this down," she would say...so I did.) One of the educators she spoke about was Vivian Gussin Paley, and she suggested we read her book You Can't Say You Can't Play. It took me about two days to read - it's a quick read.
You really have to read the book to appreciate the discussions and debates Paley and her kindergarteners and the children from grades 1-5 had regarding the rule "you can't say you can't play." They wondered--Is this a fair rule and would it work?
So, do you think this is a fair rule, and do you think this would work in your classroom or school? Would you like this rule applied to you, either as an adult or thinking of yourself as an elementary school student? Remember, that would mean that you couldn't tell anyone they couldn't play with you, and no one could tell you that you couldn't play with them (or anyone else).
If you think about it quickly, it sounds great - everybody gets to play. But then you have to consider all the "what ifs" that will certainly occur in a social arena. What if someone is mean to me? What if I only want to play with my best friend? What if the teams are too big? What if the boys only want to play with boys and the girls only with girls?
But also consider: What if one child is always excluded, day after day, year after year? What if there is always one child who decides who plays and who doesn't - one day you're "in" and the next day you're "out"? What if someone wants to play with your best friend and your best friend wants to play with someone else but doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm not sure if this rule is fair or if it would work in my second grade classroom. I do know that for the last nine years of teaching, it is certain that there are problems that occur at recess and free play times because the children exclude some, create cliques (even at this young age), test their social powers, and still need help learning how to join in with a group. As Vivian Gussin Paley suggests, a public school is a public place. If you want to play exclusively with your close friends, you can arrange to connect outside of the school day. But school is not the place for exclusion.
What do you think...I'm still deciding...I wonder what my students think...I'm going to ask them...
You really have to read the book to appreciate the discussions and debates Paley and her kindergarteners and the children from grades 1-5 had regarding the rule "you can't say you can't play." They wondered--Is this a fair rule and would it work?
So, do you think this is a fair rule, and do you think this would work in your classroom or school? Would you like this rule applied to you, either as an adult or thinking of yourself as an elementary school student? Remember, that would mean that you couldn't tell anyone they couldn't play with you, and no one could tell you that you couldn't play with them (or anyone else).
If you think about it quickly, it sounds great - everybody gets to play. But then you have to consider all the "what ifs" that will certainly occur in a social arena. What if someone is mean to me? What if I only want to play with my best friend? What if the teams are too big? What if the boys only want to play with boys and the girls only with girls?
But also consider: What if one child is always excluded, day after day, year after year? What if there is always one child who decides who plays and who doesn't - one day you're "in" and the next day you're "out"? What if someone wants to play with your best friend and your best friend wants to play with someone else but doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm not sure if this rule is fair or if it would work in my second grade classroom. I do know that for the last nine years of teaching, it is certain that there are problems that occur at recess and free play times because the children exclude some, create cliques (even at this young age), test their social powers, and still need help learning how to join in with a group. As Vivian Gussin Paley suggests, a public school is a public place. If you want to play exclusively with your close friends, you can arrange to connect outside of the school day. But school is not the place for exclusion.
What do you think...I'm still deciding...I wonder what my students think...I'm going to ask them...
